


There For You

by writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle (twoandahalfslytherins)



Series: Convenient Group of Femslash Fics [23]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: 5+1, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angelica paints bby Philip's room for him, Angelica takes the kids with her on vacation, Angelica teaches Philip to drive, F/F, Mentally ill Angie comes to stay for the summer, background Alex/John/Eliza
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9849479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoandahalfslytherins/pseuds/writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle
Summary: Five times that Angelica supported the Hamilton family, and the one time that they came through for her.





	1. Philip's Birth

Angelica had always imagined that the first time she decorated a baby’s room, she’d be doing it for herself.

The room would have been covered in soft pinks and faeries, or maybe a nice garden scene with butterflies fluttering along the walls. 

This room, this room would do, Angelica decided as she finished pressing one of the fish decals onto the wall. There were still rocks and seaweed to add along the bottom, but for the most part, the ocean had come alive in this little room. Peggy had even pitched in to help build the submarine crib and changing table. The ‘reef’ dresser where all the babies’ clothes were already packed away had been Alex’s doing.

All and all, Angelica was proud of how their efforts had come together.

Hopefully, Eliza would adore it as much as she did. 

“I give up-” Angelica turned to see Peggy there, her arms thrown up in the air- “The rocking chair is going to be blue. I can’t make anything look right on it.”

Poor Peggy, Angelica could have told her that before she started. If they’d realized that they were going to be so intricate with the room design, they would have gotten a solid backed chair instead of the one with spindles. Still, Angelica highly doubted that Eliza would be upset if it wasn’t covered in fishes- and if she was? They could cover it in fish stickers to show exactly how bad it would have looked. 

“You have a bit of paint on your nose.” Angelica picked up a wet wipe so that she could wipe the smear from. “And I’m sure she’ll love it. Do you know if they’ve said when she can leave the hospital yet?”

Little Philip's decision to come a month early meant they’d spent the last week in a tailspin trying to get everything ready and taking shifts at the hospital to make sure that Alex didn’t drive Eliza up the wall with his frantic worrying. It didn’t seem to matter that Philip was almost up to a healthy weight, or that Eliza didn’t seem any more run down than the average mother, he was beside himself with worry.

Something that would have been cute if it didn’t also mean that he needed a babysitter more than Eliza needed someone to keep her company. 

Peggy let out an exaggerated sigh as she sat down on the toy chest they’d picked out earlier that morning. “Day after tomorrow? Maybe? Are you going to be able to take off?”

“Do you think that you’ll need me?” 

When Peggy shook her head Angelica considered her options. Truth was, she’d already taken off a fair bit to help get everything ready and the house would likely be overrun tomorrow. Hercules and Lafayette both had weekends off. “I’ll stop by next week. Maybe bring a casserole or something so that they have food for the week.”

“Heaven knows Eliza isn’t going to feel up to cooking.” Definitely not, and the last time that they’d trusted Alex to do it, he’d almost caught the house on fire. “Do you want me to- I could bring you something this weekend.”

Angelica was perfectly capable of getting her own things, but she also knew that wasn’t why Peggy asked. “I’ll be fine. This has been distraction enough.”

Peggy didn’t look convinced. “I know it can’t be easy-”

The joy Angelica had felt at the room coming together slowly deflated. Peggy meant well, she did, but Angelica was tired of talking about it. Tired of everyone acting like this was somehow the worst thing. “It isn’t any different than the last what? Two years of our marriage? The house has been mostly empty for a long time.”

Maybe it was Angelica’s fault. John, though enthused when she passed the bar, hadn’t taken well to her getting the job with the law firm. Masculinity rubbed wrong by the idea of his pretty little trophy wife being anything but that. Or at least, that’s the accusation she’d always gone to. He claimed it wasn’t that she made more money than he did, but that he wanted a family already. Couldn’t she put off working until they already had little ones of their own?

Didn’t she understand that he could support them? John’d even gone out of his way to try and prove it. Started working longer and longer hours, always swearing that the promotion was just out of reach, that once he got it- he’d be home more. Except, the promotion had come and John’s hours didn’t change.

Angelica still suspected that the office assistant had been part of the problem.

“You deserve to be happy.” Peggy’s hand settled on her shoulder and Angelica blinked, unsure of when her sister had stood up. “We could get coffee and you could complain about your coworkers?”

As nice as that sounded, Angelica would have to pass. “We’d talk all day and you know it. My caseload is already piling up.”

Would swallow her whole if she wasn’t careful. Not that it was always a bad thing. After all, sometimes it was nice to go home and bury herself in her work. Emerge on the other side to find that two days had passed without her notice. 

No chance to feel lonely then.

A knock at the door stopped whatever rebuttal Peggy’d been about to throw her way, and when they went to answer it, they found Aaron there. 

Awkwardly, he raised the bags in his hands. “Hamilton said I could drop these off here?”

Angelica accepted one of them before waving him inside, pausing when she realized Peggy had disappeared again. Did her best to hide her eye roll when it occurred to her just why. Aaron’s crush wasn’t exactly as well hidden as he probably hoped.

“Thank you so much for your gift, I’ll make sure Eliza knows it’s from you,” Angelica said as she set the one she’d taken down on the table. “Would you like a drink?”

Aaron looked conflicted. “I offered to take Hamilton to dinner tonight, to get him out from under Eliza’s feet.”

If Angelica were a nicer person, she’d offer him a raincheck. Say that they could go another time. But the last thing she wanted was to give him false hope.

And it would be. Aaron was a nice enough guy, but most of the time, it felt like all there was to him. While his politics weren’t repulsive, he preferred to stay out of the fight, and if there was one thing Angelica would never find flattering, it was someone telling her to bide her time. No, she’d already had one man try to hold her back, no need to put herself in such a situation again. “Try not to let him talk your ear off.”

“I’ll try.” Aaron lingered only a moment longer before apologizing for needing to rush off, promising that he would catch up with her later.

Angelica stared at the door, waiting for him to change his mind, and once it became obvious that he wouldn’t- returned to the baby’s room. Ignored Peggy’s regret that he couldn’t stay longer. 

It’d be pointless to tell her sister that she wasn’t ready to date yet. Better to avoid the argument entirely. “For the best really, I’m about to leave anyway. Try and get some sleep while I can.”

“You’ll let me know if you need anything?” 

Again, Angelica could take care of herself, but she hugged her sister nonetheless. “Of course.”


	2. Number Three Joins The Team

Angelica’s kitchen had never seen such chaos.

Markers and crayons covered the surface of the kitchen table, not to mention the handful that had fallen to the floor. An empty jug of milk was sitting out on the counter, alongside the peanut butter jar and a still open pack of graham crackers. There were at least three different piles of paper towels hiding spills on the tile, too.

And yet?

Angelica wouldn’t change a thing.

“Pip,” Maria’s voice came from the living room. “Isn’t it nap time?”

“No nap.” Oh, to be four again and have the biggest problem in her life be not wanting to go to sleep. “Want to see my brother.”

When Angelica stepped to see them, Pip was laying on the floor on his stomach, curly hair pulled back in a ridiculous half ponytail. Whether it had been his or her girlfriend’s idea, well, there was no telling. Especially not with Maria laying on her side watching him, hardly invested in the idea of getting him ready for bed. Something that didn't stop the warm flush of gratefulness that her girlfriend was there, supporting her through this despite their relationship still being newish.

“You’ll see your brother tomorrow,” Angelica reminded him for the third time that afternoon. “Remember, I told you that we were going back to your house extra early so that we can surprise your mom and have the baby’s room nice and clean.”

Gone were the days of fishes and octopuses. Gone, too, were the flowers that had curled around the room when Pip’s little sister, Angie, was born. Unlike his siblings, Alex jr. had come right on time and his walls were covered in dinosaurs. Friendly ones with sharp teeth and large smiles. It’d been a compromise between Pip and Angie. 

Angie, who was actually napping like she was supposed to, all curled up in the middle of Angelica’s comforter with her stuffed tiger. 

But could Angelica really fault Philip for not wanting to sleep? He’d been too young last time to understand what was really happening, and now he knew exactly what it meant to bring another little one into the house.

Still, it would be nice to have an hour to themselves. While Pip and Angie had both been natural births, she’d opted for a c-section this time. Almost a week in this hospital, and unlike when Pip had been born, there were little ones to take care of instead of just a room to prepare.

Not that Angelica minded babysitting. Especially with Maria there to help keep an eye out for the little trouble makers. 

Squatting down, Angelica pulled her phone from her back pocket. “What if we face time Uncle John and he lets you see the baby that way, would that work? Could you go to sleep then?”

Philip considered her for a second, face far too serious for a four-year-old, but eventually, he nodded. “Uncle John.”

Uncle John it was. 

With that settled, Angelica sat down more fully, trying not to laugh when Maria scootched to lay her head in her lap while Pip tucked himself under her arm. Neither of them were going to make this phone call easy, but that was what Siri was for, right? 

It took two tries but John slid into view, concerned expression fading as he took in Philip holding her phone. “Hey little guy, you giving Ang a fuss?”

“Nuh uh-” Pip stuck his tongue out, wiggling it when John did the same. Children, the both of them. “Can I see Junior?” 

The screen moved to show Eliza in the hospital bed with the baby curled up in her lap and Angelica’s lip twitched at the sight of her sister’s hair. Two weeks ago she’d had long locks, but apparently, after two kids, Eliza had learned her lesson about bed head. All Angelica knew was that one day she'd come home to find Maria and Eliza both in her kitchen, a pile of hair on the floor as Maria used her razor to trim up the sides. It'd left the two with similar styles, just long enough to lay flat on the sides with a little bit of mess up top.

It was a good look on both of them in Angelica’s opinion. 

Pip wiggled slightly and Angelica shifted to accommodate him, hand falling to rest on his leg. “Can he say hi yet?”

“Kiddo, Angie’s barely talking and you want him to start already?” Eliza and the baby disappeared from view as John turned the screen back on himself. “Besides, if I’m not mistaken, it’s bed time for you. Why don’t you give Ang a break and go get changed for nap?”

That time, Philp went easily and Angelica had to resist the urge to ask John why he liked him so much better. It wasn’t as if Angelica didn’t know the answer, that it had nothing to do with fondness and everything to do with John being the ‘fun’ one. The fact that John asked less of the kids meant that when he did need them to do something, they usually listened.

Or at least Pip and John’s daughter Francis did. Angie hadn’t quite warmed up to him yet.

“Hey,” Maria squeezed her knee, “I’m going to go make sure he actually lays down, okay?”

When Angelica nodded, Maria leaned up to kiss her cheek before standing. “Give everyone my love.”

As much as Angelica would have loved to, Eliza seemed to have her hands busy with the baby and she was pretty sure she'd noticed Alex curled up in the armchair behind her. Poor thing had probably been awake for the past two days if his ability to sleep like that meant anything. But that was okay, Angelica didn't mind talking to John in the meantime.

Or at least, she hadn't.

Thankfully, John waited until the door to the bedroom shut before speaking up again. “So when are you two going to pop out one of your own?”

There were things about John that Angelica appreciated. There were. He was a mostly stand up guy, retired soldier turned tattoo artist who didn’t mind helping out whenever anyone needed a hand. His little girl had the thickest southern accent Angelica had ever heard on a five-year-old, but she was precious all the same and John seemed to be a decent dad when she was around.

But there were also things Angelica wasn’t quite so fond of. Like his utter lack of tact. “Laurens, we’ve been dating less than six months. I hardly need to tell you the possible complications of having a child with someone so soon.”

“Yeah, but me and Marty were also young and dumb, you’re what? Pushing thirty?” Behind him, the scene changed as John walked through the hospital, apparently uncaring that the world could hear their conversation. “Tick tock, if you want ‘em, you should act now.”

Of course, his lack of tact was second to how much of an asshole he was in general. Angelica pushed herself off the floor so that she could step outside herself, no need to risk little ears overhearing their conversation. “If- and that is a big if- Maria and I stay together and decide we want children, we can foster. In the meantime? We now have three bundles of joy we can smother. Four, if we’re counting Francis.”

Co-parenting. That’s what Eliza and Alex kept calling it. John had finally moved closer to where Francis’ mom was so that he could be a bigger part in his daughter’s life and they were giving him a place to stay. Giving Francis playmates.

Angelica suspected there was more to it than that, especially since John hadn’t left the hospital since Eliza went into labor, but it wasn’t her place to push. No, if something was happening then they’d open up when they felt ready.

John’s image shifted again as he set the phone down and then picked it back up again, this time with a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth. Because that was clearly what Eliza needed to smell when he finally made his way back inside. “Francis appreciates y’all, you know that right? She didn’t expect everyone to take her in so well.”

It would be too much to expect John to admit he’d been the one that was anxious. “She’s a sweetheart and it wouldn’t be right to have the others over and leave her by herself.”

Which didn’t mean that plenty of other people wouldn’t have done just that. Just because her sister and her husband had a new ‘roommate’ didn’t necessarily mean Ang had to invite his kid over. 

Something John seemed to know far too well. “To be honest, kind of jealous. She likes Maria’s pancakes far more than mine.”

Tension bled from Angelica’s shoulders as she allowed the conversation to shift away from whether or not she was going to have children. “That’s because Maria makes characters with them. You should try it sometime.”

Sure, Angelica didn’t suspect that John would make the more intricate ones like Maria did, but even Alex could stick chocolate chips and whipped cream on one to make a face. 

“I’ll stick to trying to be a soccer dad.” John took a drag of his cigarette, blowing smoke into the air. “Did Alex tell you that we’re thinking of starting a cub scout troop when Pip get old enough?”

The idea of either of them teaching children how to start a fire or tie knots was terrifying. “Please tell me that Eliza talked you out of it.”

John snorted. “Come on, Ang. You know you want to be the den mom. Think of how much fun we could have? You, me, Alex, the kids- all hanging out in the woods learning how to shoot arrows at targets.”

Archery wasn’t exactly any safer than fire. Probably less so with those two involved. “How old do they have to be to join the boy scouts?”

“I think it’s somewhere around kindergarten.” Another drag, John's brow furrowed as he stared into space. "Yeah- kindergarten is about right, goes all the way up till the graduate too."

Good. The world would be safe for at least another two years.


	3. Chapter 3

If Angelica had realized what including other people in her birthday plans meant, she might have just gone alone. Kissed her girlfriend goodbye, promised her law partners that she’d be back in a week and sent Eliza a text message to the same effect. 

But Angelica had done none of those things. No, she’d decided to be nice. Which meant that instead of sleeping in, Angelica was listening to the sound of movement near the bed.

Light flooded their hotel room as Maria pushed open the curtains and Angelica rolled away from it, pulling the blankets up over her head. No matter what time it actually was, it was far too early for this kind of nonsense. 

“Angel, you told the kids we could get breakfast this morning,” Maria reminded her as she tugged the blanket away. “Don’t you want to go get some nice pastries?”

When Angelica didn’t respond, Maria reached out to stroke her side. “We did bring the french press, do you want a cup of coffee before we get the kids?”

The kids. Eliza’s kids, not their own, because despite being together six years, they hadn’t taken the plunge. A thought that only stung some of the time. Truth was, Angelica and Maria both were better suited for being fanciful aunts than they were parents. Being a partner at her firm meant the hours she worked were ridiculous, and Maria’s weren't that much better. 

So this was better. The occasional afternoon outing, dragging whichever children were interested to festivals and museums. Weekend visits so that Eliza, Alex, and John could have some time for themselves. Just enough time for Angelica and Maria to enjoy their presence without getting too annoyed at the sibling bickering that went on.

Bickering that had already started by the time Angelica took her shower and made her way to their room. 

“Phil-” Angelica did her best to sound stern, unsure of what exactly was going on.

Just knew that Philip had Alex in the air, doing his best not to fall as his younger brother squirmed in his arms. True to form, Angie was ignoring the chaos, tucked into her bed with a sketchbook. 

Aware of her arrival, Alex finally broke free, running over to the safety that was Angelica’s legs. “Pips mean.”

Why had Maria woken her up again? “What’s going on you two?”

Philip flopped across the foot of Angie’s bed before announcing that he’d only been holding Alex up because Alex hit him. Wasn’t that what Mom would have wanted him to do? Keep Alex from hurting anyone else?

Alex quickly chimed in that he only hit him because Philip was being mean. Alex jr didn’t have the vocabulary of his father, or even of his older siblings. Preferred words that had more than one purpose for that reason. Which, while good for him, meant that sometimes it was hard to figure out what was going on- especially when the other siblings weren’t helping any.

Mean, in this case, took Angelica and Maria both almost twenty minutes to figure out. Twenty minutes that they could have been eating breakfast or spent traveling toward one of the day’s activities. 

But that was one of the things with dealing with children. The unpredictability of it all.

“Alex, sweetie,” Maria murmured from the space she’d taken on the other bed, arms wrapped around Alex’s waist. “If you wanted to stay with your mom and dad, we would have understood.”

From the bed, Philip huffed. “He’s just upset that Francis is getting all of mom and dad’s attention.”

“Francis only stayed back because she had science thing, you know that.” Angelica kissed his forehead. “She’s not even with them right now and you guys will have your parents all to yourself when you get back because Francis won’t be home for a few more days.”

Eliza liked to remind her that jealousy was to be expected in a house with so many children, but sometimes Angelica worried about Alex jr. Philip had practically been grades ahead when he entered Kindergarten, and Angie was already showing her spark as a little artist.

And little Alex was just trotting along, barely at level. Which wouldn’t be too bad if he didn’t seem aware of that fact. 

Nothing that a little extra attention didn’t seem to soothe, though. 

“What about this,” Angelica offered, pulling out her phone. “There’s a fancy app on here that lets us send pictures. We could take them while we’re out and about- and then your mom and dad might send us back pictures of them. Would that make you feel better?”

At least, Angelica really hoped that one of them would be in a place to respond. If not they might be in a spot of trouble.

“They can see what we do?” When Angelica nodded, Alex wiggled his way out of Maria’s lap. “Then we have to do something for them to see first, right?”

Of course. “I bet we can find somewhere around here still serving breakfast. Don’t waffles sound good to you guys?”

The small chorus of ‘yeses’ was balm to Angelica’s slightly frazzled nerves.

The fact that breakfast went smoothly? Well, it didn’t quite make up for the delay, but it came pretty close. Especially when Eliza responded to the chocolate chip pancake picture with her smiling face.

Next came the art museum and Angelica hung back, watching fondly as Maria pointed out the different details, speculating with the older two siblings about what the different colors could mean. Philip’s answers were a bit more obvious that Angie’s suggestions, but Angelica was mostly impressed that her girlfriend managed to keep both of them so thoughtfully occupied.

Little Alex kept to Angelica’s ankles and while it was tempting to push him forward, to try and get him to engage more, it wasn’t necessarily the best answer for him. Not every child would be interested in everything, and there was no need to ruin the afternoon by causing a fuss, not when the others were behaving so well.

Besides, Angelica had a surprise for him next.

“Alright guys,” Maria said as she waved for the other two to follow her back to Angelica. “Lunch time?”

Maria had barely gotten the words out of her mouth before Philip launched into giving suggestions. They could go for Pizza or subs, or maybe pasta? He’d even seen an ice cream place near by and yes, he knew ice cream wasn’t lunch but maybe they could stop by afterward? After all, they were on vacation. 

“Actually, we’re going to grab hotdogs before our next adventure,” Angelica gently nudged Alex forward with a hand to his back, leading him and the rest of the crew toward the car. “There’s a train nearby and I thought you all might enjoy a short ride.”

Ever the trooper, Philip barely deflated at the comment, just suggested that maybe they could ice cream after their train ride.

It was adorable enough that she actually let them get it at the little lunch shop at the front of the station. Three ice cream cones for the children, and two frosted lemonades for the adults. All perfect treats to enjoy while on the train.

Angie took the seat in front of them, eyes glued on the scenery the whole time, no doubt taking notes for when she was reunited with her sketchbook again. Maybe when she got a little older they would get her a camera, but in the meantime, Maria insisted that this was great practice. That having to use total recall meant her artwork would be focused more on the ‘feeling’ of the place than whether or not every tree had just the right shape.

Philip and Alex took the one behind them, Alex propped up on Philip’s knee so that he could see better. Something that Angelica couldn’t resist pulling out her phone to take a picture of her own to send to Eliza. It was always good to see the two actively getting along.

After the train ride they decided to walk around the little museum the train station had going on, marveling at all the old trains and the history behind them. This time it was Angie who took little Alex by the hand, Philip lingering with the adults, trying to plead his case for going to a theme park before the trip was over.

Where he expected them to find one, Angelica wasn’t sure, but it was something that they could consider for next trip. Maybe over the summer holiday or for his birthday.

But that was something to discuss later, probably with his parents. 

Later, after everyone had eaten after dinner and the children had retired to their own room, Angelica grabbed one of the pillows before flopping on the bed. 

Did her best to ignore Maria’s laughter. “Aw, did the kiddos wear you out?”

“You know-” Angelica rolled to look at Maria, tucking the pillow beneath her head- “When we first discussed this trip, I was imagining a spa date. Something relaxing.”

That would make taking a week off worth it. But Angie had overheard her plan to visit the museum and asked if she could tag along. 

“Two more days,” Maria promised her. “Then a week of work, but I promise you next weekend? We’ll celebrate your birthday in a way I’m sure we’ll both enjoy.”

Next weekend because in three days, Angelica would have to become an adult again. Have to return to the suits and the twelve-hour workdays. But it was worth it, absolutely worth it- especially with Maria by her side. “Are you going to paint me like one of your french girls?”

Maria hummed as she went through their luggage, tossing sleep clothes for the both of them onto the bed. “I suppose that could be a starter, but I was rather hoping for something a bit more interactive.”

“Ah-” Angelica allowed Maria to pull her to a sitting position, rolling her shoulders before reaching for the hem of her shirt so that she could change- “I see, you want to do one of those art classes? Sculpture maybe?”

Shivers went down Angelica’s spine as cold hands pressed against her newly exposed tummy before slipping to unhook her bra for her. “I can think of quite a few things I’d like to sculpt right now.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh to be on solid ground again-” Francis bent to touch the asphalt with one hand. “I missed you so.”

From the driver seat, Philip flipped her off before climbing out of the car himself, limbs too long to ever pass as graceful. Over the last few months, he’d shot up over Eliza and Alex both, self-consciousness clear in the slope of his shoulders.

Poor thing. But there wasn’t a thing Angelica could do about his height. “I don’t recall you doing any better your first time on the highway, Francis.”

“Yeah,” Philip made a face in her direction. “At least I haven’t backed into any stop signs yet.”

Francis looked ready to snap back and Angelica gave her a look, cutting off the fight before it even really began. Having to teach Philip how to drive was frustrating enough without adding in a sibling rivalry.

Which was why Angelica would have rathered left Francis home. But she’d been caught drinking two weekends ago and wasn’t allowed to be left to her own devices for at least another week.

According to Eliza, it wasn’t so much the drinking that bothered them, as who she’d been drinking with. Rich white kids with a reputation for destroying things and Francis didn’t seem to understand that she might not fair as well with the cops when push came to shove. So lots and lots of face time with the fam until things calmed down. Not that Alex and John were great examples, what with their own stories of mischief and mayhem.

“I promised you guys milkshakes if you behaved, but if you’d rather bicker in the parking-” It was always good to see that some things, like the power of ice cream, never changed.

Heaven knew everything else seemed to be. 

Maria was almost finished getting her accreditation to teach Art History, just in time for Francis and Philip both to start thinking about college themselves. Little Alex had just started middle school and Angie would be off to high school soon, meaning there wasn’t a single person not in flux. 

Oh well. Angelica was prepared to grow with them.

Even if they were completely ridiculous. She’d barely paid for the milkshakes before Francis stepped off to the side, phone stuck to her ear. Something about soccer, if Angelica understood half of what they were saying. Innocent enough that Angelica didn’t feel guilty about waving her on when Francis asked if she could step outside to talk.

Which left her with Philip, who was eyeing her warily for whatever reason. “Come on, you didn’t do that poorly.”

“Didn’t do that great either.” Philip pulled the hair tie off his wrist, tugging his curls up into a sloppy bun. “Can I ask you something?”

Considering how easily everything else came to Philip, Angelica could only imagine that this wasn’t easy for him. Mentally prepared herself for whatever kind of soothing answer it was that he needed.

Was completely caught off guard instead. 

“There’s this kid at school? Georges? And well, I think I might like them but-” Discomfort. That was the only word for the look on Philip’s face as he tugged on his hoodie strings. “How do you, you know?”

 

For someone who managed to be so eloquent about every other topic under the sun, including but not limited to passionate defenses of lucky charms and tirades against the injustice of teen titans getting so much screen time- it wasn’t like Philip to be so ambiguous. “You’re going to have to elaborate if you want me to help, Pip.”

Because there was a world of difference between ‘how do you know if you like someone’ and ‘how do you tell them’ and even more between those and ‘how do you get people you like to have sex with you?’ Which she really, really hoped this conversation wasn’t that one. If she remembered correctly, John had given everyone but Alex ‘the talk’ already, something about his own misadventures in middle school meaning he wasn’t willing to let discomfort override common sense on the matter.

“I’m not-” Philip groaned, took a breath, tried again. “I don’t know that I’m ready to tell everyone but it would be lying to date and not tell, wouldn’t it? I don’t want to end up grounded like Francis.”

Oh. “I’m honestly not sure what your parents’ opinion on dating is. It might not be that big of a deal?”

Part of her wanted to reassure him that he wouldn’t be grounded for dating someone and not coming clean. After all, Angelica liked to think her sister rational. But that also probably depended on what it was that Philip got up to while dating, and she didn’t have enough information to feel super comfortable giving her opinion just yet.

Down came the hair and then, almost instinctively, Philip shoved it back into his bun, looking anywhere but at Angelica. “I just- Maybe it would be different if Georges was a girl?”

Double oh. “Sweetie, you do realize-”

Angelica paused, unsure of how to continue. Had Alex and John actually managed to keep their own relationship hidden? Even if so he couldn’t possibly have missed that she and Maria were together, could he have? They weren’t prone to kissing in front of the kids, but their relationship was hardly a secret. Or maybe he thought that it was different, that they could do that because they were girls? Or that having a gay aunt didn’t necessarily mean that his parents would accept him?

“About my dad?” There was that, too. “Some of the kids at school think I’m not his. As if Uncle John would sleep with a woman.”

The two did look an awful lot alike, but anyone who knew them would know better. “Your uncle-”

“And my dad are butt buddies.” At Angelica’s look, Philip snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Crude. But it’s true. I’m not stupid, ya know? Even Alex knows.”

So many questions answered, so many more brought to light. Angelica would try and figure the rest out later, for the moment, she needed to focus on his original question before Francis finished chatting with her friends. “So why the worry?”

“Have you met my dad?” Considering the rhetorical nature of that question, Angelica resisted the urge to snip that she’d known his dad longer than he’d been alive. “I don’t want to go to school one day and realize that there are a bunch of condoms in my bag or have someone over for dinner and everyone flip out.”

An understandable concern, but Angelica wasn’t completely following. “And this would be different if Georges was a girl?”

Angelica could see his father in the way that Philip puffed out his cheeks, delaying his answer. Which was fine, Angelica could give him a second to think. If Francis did come inside? Well, they could pick up this conversation later. 

“Girls are used to being fussed over?” Despite being the one to suggest it, he didn’t sound that sure of himself.

“Are you worried that Georges wouldn’t put up with it?” Philip shook his head and Angelica tried again. “Are you sure it would be better if Georges was a girl? At least with coming out to your parents.”

Philip took a moment to think it over before shrugging. “Guess not. I just don’t want dad to make a big deal about anything and I would literally die if he or John gave Georges the ‘if you hurt my son’ talk.”

“Do you think they would?”

Another shrug. “Probably? Dad can be real weird and I’d be the first one to bring a date over.”

True. Definitely not the first one to date, though, if Angelica’s suspicions were correct. But Francis also still had her mom’s place to bring people over to if she didn’t feel like introducing them to her ‘weird ass’ family.

“Well, your secret is safe with me.” At least, until she was given a very good reason for it not to be, but he probably understood that she wouldn’t stand by if he was being hurt. “But I do think you might want to give your parents a chance at some point.”

Philip reached up to fiddle with his hair again before glancing toward the door. “Yeah, yeah. Think we should go make sure that Francis hasn’t managed to hitch a ride with someone else?”

Shit. That possibility hadn’t even occurred to Angelica. More reasons why it was better she got to be the cool aunt than a parent.

Angelica’s heart rate slowly approached normal when they spotted Francis sitting on the curb by the car, cup between her knees and straw in her mouth as she tapped away on her phone. “Have a nice chat?”

“No. Our goalie managed to fall down the stairs this morning and apparently she fractured her ankle. Might not be able to play for the rest of the season.” Francis didn’t even bother to look up as spoke. “Like, we have a backup plan? But the other girl is nowhere near as good and we’re going to have to take on a few more practices to keep her up to speed.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing?” Francis snorted, but Angelica would stand by what she said. “Just think, you enjoy spending time with your team- and yeah, you’ll be tired and sweaty, but you’ll be out of the house. Without an escort.”

That seemed to win Francis over if only enough to convince her to climb back into the backseat for another round of ‘Philip vs the highway.’

Which, while not making her any younger, definitely wasn’t as stressful as the conversation they’d had inside. She could only hope that she hadn’t given him bad advice anywhere.


	5. Chapter 5

Paint clung to Maria’s hair, purples and whites guaranteeing that tonight would be wash night.

That being said, It was a good look, one that Angelica hadn’t seen in far too long. Being a history teacher didn’t require Maria to stand in front of an easel, and it seemed that both of them only had limited energy left over for leisure. 

It was so much easier to flop in bed for a nap, or binge watch the latest series on netflix these days. 

“Ugh.” Angie dropped her brush on the table before looking up. “Teresa wants me to paint my emotions but I’d rather paint cats.”

“Could you paint your emotions as cats?” Okay, maybe not her brightest statement, but it’d been worth a shot. “If you don’t want to do art therapy with Teresa, we can find you another therapist. You know that, right?”

So far, Angie had been seeing Teresa for a little over a month, about as long as she’d been staying with Angelica and Maria. 

Too much stress, Alex had said when he asked if she could. Too much competition, Eliza elaborated and Angelica could only imagine. Philip had started taking AP classes his sophomore year. Earned his Eagle Award his junior year, had graduated a semester early, and started college after only a few months off. His father’s son through and through, he was already engaged in three different clubs on campus with his eye on a leadership position.

Francis had earned almost a full ride between academic scholarships and one for soccer, was off at the univesity of her dreams. Even had a boyfriend who she adored, was talking about bringing him home over spring break.

Meanwhile Angie’s psychologist at home had suggested she take a reduced course load her sophomore year of highschool. Had agreed that being homeschooled for a few years might be the best course of action before college.

If Angie went to college.

Lately that seemed like a big if.

“It isn’t Teresa,” Angie admitted, giving her painting one last disgruntled look before abandoning Maria to make her way to the front porch, Angelica on her heels. “I just? It feels pointless. I’m never going to get any better. There’s no cure for a fucked up brain.”

Sometimes it was hard to tell what was her bipolar and what was just teenage dramatics, but Angelica tried to do her best to assume the former rather than the latter. To not minimize the way her niece felt. Poor thing did it enough to herself, no need to help. “There might not be a cure, but it can help increase your quality of life.”

If push came to shove, Angelica would let her quit. At least for a little while. After all, she couldn’t blame Angie from wanting a break. Therapy seemed to serve as a bleak reminder of what would probably be a life long struggle.

Truth was? Angelica didn’t know how to relate. Not really. She tended toward being a workaholic when she was stressed, but she wasn’t mentally ill. 

Maria though? Maria shined in this department. Her own experiences with depression and hypomania made it easier for the two to sit shoulder to shoulder and just co-exist. To give Angie a safe place to know she wasn’t being judged, that she wasn’t a disappointment.

That she was just like Maria.

Maria who hadn’t bothered to get a degree at all until she reached her thirties. Who still did well enough as an artist before then.

And wasn’t art what Angie wanted to do with her life? Didn’t she want to speak to people her own language?

Honestly, Angie’s stay with them had done the two of them some good. Had given Maria something to focus on again beyond school work and her and Angelica’s relationship. A reason to paint and sculpt again, someone else to talk and laugh with.

Angie broke the silence without acknowledging what Angelica had said. “What if I’m never able to do all the things I’m supposed to? What if I stall out here?” 

It was the worst part about getting older, the looking back and wondering if she’d made the right choices. If she’d completed everything she needed to complete in order to move on to the next stage. To hear her own worries echoed in someone so much younger, it ached.

“I think this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you to reevalute what you’re supposed to do?”

Angie snorted. “Been reading parenting books?”

Blogs, actually. But Angie didn’t need to know that. “Angie, sweetie, what do you want to do with your life?”

“I don’t know.” Angelica rested a hand on her niece’s shoulder, trying to acknowledge how hard it must be to admit that but Angie just shrugged her off. “I just- Philip has his whole life together. He has this amazing plan about becoming a journalist and changing the world. Francis is doing her whole biology thing. Even Alex has a plan.”

That was new information. “Alex knows what he wants to do?”

“He’s going to follow in dad’s footsteps and work at the bank.” Angie rubbed at her nose, clearly growing frustrated. “But that isn’t the point. The point is, everyone one else has a purpose, and I can’t even get through high school.”

“Unfortunately, the school system is still built to churn out factory workers. It isn’t a bad thing that your brain doesn’t mesh with that.” Okay, so maybe she had stolen part of that from conversations with Maria, but hopefully it would work. “Most jobs don’t require you to write papers and do homework and there are plenty of jobs that don’t follow a nine to five clock.”

Because those seemed to be the things Angie struggled the most with. Even here, removed from school, her mind sometimes went just a little too fast. She would start out on one project only to wind up doing something entirely differently. Angelica couldn’t count the number of times she’d come home to a clean house, unable to express gratitude because Angie was curled up crying on the couch. 

Occasionally, when the mood struck her, Angie even came to work with her. Helped out with filing and sorting. Said it was the sort of activity that was just engaging enough, while still letting her mind wander. Plus, it had two added benefits. One, she got paid and two, it helped her feel like she was contributing to something.

Which seemed to be an important theme in a lot of Angie’s fits.

“Dad’s always blathering on about skill and community building-” How soft Angie’s voice was getting worried Angelica, it tended to be a sign of an oncoming crying fit- “But how am I supposed to know what skills to build? And how am I supposed to build a community when I’m a flaky bitch and don’t know what I want to do.”

“You might have trouble keeping plans sometimes, but you’re not a flaky bitch.” Wasn’t a bitch at all, in Angelica’s opinion. Even in her more extreme states, Angie was one of the sweetest people Angelica knew. “In terms of deadlines? It just means you’ll have a harder time finding a system that motivates you. But harder doesn’t mean impossible.”

Which, of course wasn’t Angie’s only concern. “As for the other- maybe start with what you like to do? Francis has been volunteering at that animal conservation place and that’s a good networking opportunity for what she wants to do. You seem to really enjoy art, you could maybe take an art class at the local community college this year? Or help out at Maria’s job?”

It’d been meant as a helpful suggestion but Angie moaned, tears in her eyes. Alright, conversation over. “Why don’t you go lay down, sweetie? We can talk later if you’d like.”

Later. Once Angie had time to calm down again. Or maybe even in a few weeks, when Angelica could have a more cohesive suggestion. No need to upset her in the meantime. 

Once Angelica was sure that Angie had made it upstairs to her room, she made her way back to the dining room that Maria had turned into a semi-studio lately.

Was relieved to find her girlfriend there, still painting away even without her partner. “How goes the art?”

“I can’t get this orchid to look quite right, but other than that, lovely.” Maria twisted the canvas to show off her work, a dazzling garden scene. “How did the therapy talk go?”

Trust Maria to skip the small talk. “It didn’t. She’s just stressed about the future and feeling hopeless, and I’m not sure how to help at this point.”

Angelica knew she couldn’t fix her niece, but the entire reason they’d opened their home was to help ease her pain. Something that felt like an uphill battle right now.

“Why don’t we go make a snack in the kitchen? Sometimes food helps battle that out of control feeling.” Times like this, Angelica couldn’t have been more grateful for her lover. “And then why not work on that vacation you’ve been wanting to take? I think it could be a nice reset for all of us.”

“Don’t you think Angie should be involved in that one?”

Maria shrugged as she packed up her art supplies. “We could come up with a few options? Then float them past her. That way we’re not dragging her to a beach she hates.”

That was doable.

On a whim, Angelica reached out to grab Maria as she went to pass, pulling her in for a kiss. Laughed when Maria broke the contact, teasing that she’d said they were moving things to the kitchen, not the bedroom.

Sometimes Angelica really loved that woman.


End file.
